THE MIAMIHAWKTALK.COM F.A.Q., updated 15 January 2010
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mattsledge
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 3:35 pm    Post subject: THE MIAMIHAWKTALK.COM F.A.Q., updated 15 January 2010 Reply with quote

The Semi-Official MiamiHawkTalk.com FAQ, version 2.3741498

First off, welcome to the ONLY fan website dedicated to Miami University Athletics. This FAQ will hopefully answer some of your questions about the site, and the message boards in general. For a brief history lesson on the site and what we are all about, click here.

The Key Players (aka The Admins and Moderators, or the people who can take you out):

RedSteve: Miami grad. This is his baby. His creation, his hard work, and his labor of love… when he’s not hanging with his Jetta-driving wife, that is.

DevilGrad: Miami, Harvard, and Duke grad. We won’t hold the last two against him. Four words, and live by them: Don’t piss him off.

mattsledge: Miami fan out of his mind. Another one of those brie-eating bastards, just like everyone else here.

NickSkin: Another Miami grad. Our local recruiting guru. We don’t know where he gets his information, and we don’t bother asking. Besides, we think it’s better to let him do his job … whatever that is.

GoMiami: You guessed it … Miami grad. He lives in California, and drinks wine. A perfect fit. Otherwise he doesn’t do too much, but that’s cool.

thechuck_2112: 2005 Miami grad in physics and UVA lawyer. Yeah. Physics and Law School: Two great tastes that make no sense whatsoever!

And now, the Q&A session - actual questions from actual posters!

*NEW!*
Q: Should I post here after imbibing in a few tasty adult beverages?
A: PUI (Posting Under the Influnce) is not recommended. The moderators don't want to clean up your garbage, and it will just cause you a greater headache in the end - just like the one you'll have after you've slept off that all-night (or in some cases all-day) archaic potation binge. Case in point: ask thechuck_2112 about "Jen's Kegs".

Q:What is BBCode?
A: BBCode is a special implementation of HTML. You can also disable it on a per post basis from the posting form. BBCode itself is similar in style to HTML: tags are enclosed in square braces [ and ] rather than < and > and it offers greater control over what and how something is displayed. For more information on BBCode see the guide which can be accessed from the posting page, or just click HERE. It is suggested that if you want to use BBCode, please make sure that you have it elready enabled in your profile.

Q: Can I use HTML?
A: That depends on whether the administrator allows you to; they have complete control over it. If you are allowed to use it, you will probably find only certain tags work. This is a safety feature to prevent people from abusing the board by using tags which may destroy the layout or cause other problems. If HTML is enabled you can disable it on a per post basis from the posting form.

Q: I want to post here. What do I do, and what do I not do?
A: Welcome aboard, slappy! Feel free to talk about Miami athletics, and keep things on topic. Sometimes we are known to veer wildly off-topic from time-to-time, but that’s in the spirit of the board. To quote Jim Rome (whom I despise, but this is so true): “Have a take, and don’t suck”.

What not to do, you ask? Simple. There’s no better way to make the moderators mad around here by trying to boost your post count. It’s not a contest to see who has all the freaking posts, it’s a message board to talk about Miami. We hate “fluff”. “Fluff” is replying to a post with just a one-word reply (i.e., “yes”, “agree”, and anything like that). If you do that, we will hang you by your toenails. It all goes back to “Have a take, and don’t suck” – if you’re going to reply to something, make sure it’s something that can cary the conversation, and not bring it to a screeching halt.

Also, there are a lot of people who "lurk" on this message board and website - from administrators to coaches in the athletic department, from current players to recruits and parents of recruits. Remember that what you say here, you are essentially saying to their face. Please, we ask that you keep this in mind and be civil in what you post in regards to criticism.

Q: Why is DevilGrad so cranky?
A: Why is the sky blue? Why do birds sing? Why does Marshall cheat? Why does UC suck?

Q: HEY! Why did I type one word, and it was replaced with another?!?!
A: It's the word censor. We like having a sense of humor around here (well, at least we like to think we are funny...). If you feel like paying the monthly costs for keeping this site going, then we'll think about turning off the word censor just for you. Maybe.

Q: Why don’t you have a Politics forum?
A: We did. It bombed. Sports and politics do not mix. Trust me on this one. TRUST ME.

Q: Why does mattsledge like peanuts so much? Q2: And what's the deal with the hookers & blow?

A: Oven roasted and salted, please! Uh, yeah. It’s actually something that started as a joke, the week of MU vs. MU 2002. mattsledge would continually ask visiting Marshall posters if peanuts were available at they stadium, and no one replied. So he kept asking. And asking. And asking. And a legend was born. Pardon me, I have some shells to crack.
A2: mattsledge works in the radio biz. he gets free hookers & blow and dispenses where he sees fit.

Q1: Why am I a "Dodds God"? I lived in Emerson. Q2: And, can I be something else instead?
A1: because we say you are. Our message board assigns certain levels based on how many posts you have. For your first few posts you're a summer orientee. Next, you're a Dodds God (freshman), then a Havighurstite (sophomores -- Havighurst was where sophomores with bad lottery numbers got stuck when RedSteve attended Miami), Then an off-campus slummer (junior), then a senior barfly (because we know where seniors spend that year), then a wealthy alum. When you make 15,000 posts, you get called "grumpy mf-er"

A2: No. Unless we think you deserve another rank.

Q: Why are there so many bastard lawyers on this site?
A: Well, you have to find something to pass the time during conference calls.

Q: Is it true that the users of MiamiHawkTalk.com will do all my sports research for me?
A: Although our users have a wealth of knowledge of all things Miami, and are generally willing to share, they get a little impatient with obvious questions or questions that you should be able to find the answer to in mere minutes by using either Google or MURedHawks.com.

Q: What is a threadjack?
A: Hey, do you want to meet my Bortzan Army?

Q: Who is "He Who Must Not Be Named"?
A: Don't ask. Okay... since you did, it's former Miami Football Head Coach Timm Rose. As you'll recall after the championship 1986 season, the football program suffered all-time lows until Randy Walker came along. We like to pretend that the years of 1987, 1988, and 1989 didn't happen around these parts.

Q: What's the deal with the broccoli?
A: Hell if I know. Some things are better left unexplained, and this is one of them.

Q: Hey, my post disappeared!! Are you guys nazis who don't believe in the first amendment?
A: The mods strongly believe in the First Amendment -- that the government should not be able to restrict the exercise of free speech. Of course, the moderators of this site are not the government; they are some guys who have to worry about maintaining a healthy community. Occasionally that means deleting posts that violate our terms of service.

Q: Why isn't alcohol sold at Miami sporting events?
A: We'll let 'Mama Miami' answer this one:
Quote:
http://netapps.muohio.edu/phpapps/townsquare/mamamiami/showrumor.php?id=566

Why is no alcohol sold at Miami sporting events? Seems to be missing out on a way to generate revenue and it is sold at UC events (Nippert Stadium, the Shoe,etc), so it's not a "state school" issue? Who makes the decision on this policy, the trustees, provost, president?
A:

There is a hospitality tent at football games, in what is called the "Miami Gardens," where there are alcohol sales to the public before the game. The beer sales end before the game begins.

This issue has been studied by a number of university groups over the years. The prevailing thought that emerged each time is that selling alcohol at games would send the wrong message, create law enforcement problems, and possibly worsen the already significant alcohol abuse problems of some of our students.

Back in the 1980s the univerity sold beer outside Yager through halftime of home football games, but when the legal drinking age changed to 21 the president and vice president for finance and business affairs at the time ordered the sales halted because of the difficulty in enforcing the then-new law, says Steve Snyder, executive assistant to the president.


And there you have it.

Q: Why can't I copy-and-paste news articles from other websites here?
A: Because it violates international copyright law. Assume that anything on the internet is copyrighted. Example: Let's say that you write an article for The New York Times. It gets published, and you get paid by The Times for the use of that article. Once it's published, it's protected by copyright. When other people take your work and post it elsewhere without your express permission, then that vioates copyright law.

According to "Fair Use" laws you can copy-and-paste a paragraph or two with the link to the story. But if you copy-and-paste a whole article here, you can be assured that the moderators will edit your post to adhere to copyright laws. So to save us those headaches, just post a link to the article. If the article requires registration to read it, then suck it up. It doesn't cost you nothin'.

Q: What's the deal with Eugene Seals' mother?
A: No, it's not what you think. In a previous incarnation of this message board, long-time poster EDDIE claimed that he had spoken to Seal's mother and she said that Eugene was thinking of tansferring back home to Michigan State. This thread took on a life of its own, spawning many off-topic responses and was, at the time, one of the bigger threads in MHT.com history. So whenever anyone references a player's mother, this is where it somes from.

Q: Speaking of EDDIE, why does he like livers so much?
A: That appears to be an ancient chinese secret. And no, Calgon detergent isn't the answer.

Q: What about goat porn?
A: Hey, whatever floats your boat. Just don't post any here.

Q: What does "ROTFLMAO Lethunya" mean?
A: "ROTFLMAO" is a common internet abbreviation for "rolling on the floor, laughing my ___ off." MHT's version of this is a twisted tribute to former Miami basketball player, Refiloe Lethunya. "The Prince" played on the 1999 Sweet Sixteen team, really is a village prince in his home country of Lesotho, and currently serves as an assistant coach at a small college out in Utah.

Q: What's the deal with those prediction threads for Football?
A: As per tradition, a thread is started three days before a football game for predictions on the upcoming gridiron contest. Usually called 'Prediction Thursday' (since the games are on Saturday), there aren't winners per se - just a place for you to predict the outcome of the game. Rumor has it that if you correctly guess the score of the game you owe RedSteve, DevilGrad, and mattsledge a six-pack of their choosing. Maybe.

Q: When will Miami be leaving the Mid-American Conference? Can I post a thread about it on the message boards?
A: I'll be blunt: Miami leaving the MAC won't be happening anytime soon. There have been plenty of threads that say "MIAMI SHOULD LEAVE THE MAC NOW OMG!!!!1111ONEONEONE ZOG ZOG ZOG!." It has become repetitive, tiring, and is now at a point where we (the admins and moderators) want to poke our our eyes with hot sporks covered in acid and maggots when we see these threads.

If you like circle jerks then by all means go ahead and start a thread about conference realignment. Just don't expect us to play along nicely in it.

Q: Why do so many threads around here go off-topic?
A: Your moderators believe in the marketplace of ideas and rarely "censor" opinions. However, they are not above trying to threadjack discussions that they think have taken a harmful turn. (A classic example here was a thread about certain Marshall fans that eventually devolved into a five-page discussion of posters' favorite taco restaurants.) BTW, as MiamiMAC has noted astutely, complaining about a threadjack will only ensure its continuance.

More added as need be. Copyright 2005-2010. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. To unsubscribe, please call 1-513-529-1809 and ask for "SFB". Look both ways before crossing the street, and stay off of the field of play. Last updated 11:20, 01.15.10


Last edited by mattsledge on Wed Jan 18, 2006 10:39 pm; edited 13 times in total
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JohnnyMac
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 8:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I, personally, still wonder about all this "broccoli" talk.
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 9:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's my understanding that the broccoli story can only be told by officially approved members of the BL5. It's "secret knowledge," or something.
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 9:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've been here from the beginning... and I get no love... back on the old old boards back in '98... damn...
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 9:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Q: Who is redskins4ever?
A: He's a guy who's been posting since '98. We love him. Oh, and he started the daggum word-association thread...
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 9:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Never underestimate the power of broccoli!
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 11:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Broccoli helps poor students go to Bowl Games. Very Happy
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 3:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing http://www.broccoli.co.jp/
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 3:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And for those of you who are curious: The Broccoli FAQ

Broccoli
1. Q. Can broccoli be grown in the spring and the fall?


A. Generally, yes, depending upon the variety, the area of Texas and the time planted. Broccoli does best when temperatures remain between 40 degrees and 70 degrees F. during the growing period. In most areas broccoli grows best if planted in late summer so it can mature during cool periods. Temperatures below 25 degrees F. can damage or kill broccoli. Broccoli should be planted early enough to mature before these conditions occur.



2. Q. What causes broccoli heads to become discolored and slightly slimy?


A. Under certain environmental conditions, such as high temperatures during the initiation of the edible portion, discoloration occurs. This has been observed on some of the hybrid varieties. Correct planting times and good cultural care will usually eliminate head discoloration.



3. Q. What causes broccoli to flower almost immediately making the heads inedible?


A. High temperatures at heading time usually causes premature flowering and consequently reduces the quantity of home-grown broccoli. Broccoli will flower quickly if it is forced to mature at temperatures much above 80 degrees F.



4. Q. Are broccoli leaves good to eat?


A. Yes, most people would have a hard time distinguishing between young broccoli leaves and collard greens. Harvest and prepare only young, tender leaves as older, tougher leaves often develop a somewhat bitter taste.



5. Q. I have harvested the first large heads of broccoli from my garden. The secondary sprouts are now producing heads, but they are not as large as the first head harvested. Is this normal or should we fertilize?


A. The center head produced by broccoli is always the largest. The secondary sprouts produce heads about the size of a silver dollar. Sidedressing with fertilizer can increase yields and size of these sprout shoots. More of these are required to make a meal, but they will be as tasty as the large center head.



6. Q. My broccoli is magnificent this fall, but some plants rot after I remove the main head. The stem has a hole in it that retains water and causes rotting. What can I do?


A. The hole in the stem cannot be corrected now. It is caused by a boron deficiency corrected by the addition of one-half pound per 1,000 square feet of a boron product such as Twenty Mule Team Borax. Since boron is a minor element, add only small amounts. Boron toxicity occurs if too much is added so use only what is required for your gardening area.



7. Q. This is the first year I have grown broccoli and I cannot determine when it is ready to harvest. How will I know?


A. Generally, when individual buds of broccoli are match-head size and distinct (loose) in appearance, the head is as large as it is going to get. After growing a certain variety for several seasons you will soon know the potential size for heads of that variety. The size of the head produced depends on variety, season and fertilization.



8. Q. My broccoli foliage is developing yellow spots on the upper side with a downy growth underneath.


A. This is downy mildew. It is caused by an airborne fungus. Some varieties of broccoli are resistant to this. Foliar sprays of chlorothalonil can be used to control this problem. Begin applications at the first sign of the disease and repeat in 10 to 14 days.



9. Q. Some of my young broccoli plants are stunted, weak-looking and covered by small, green bugs. What can be used to control these insects?


A. Aphids, or plant lice, are sometimes a real problem on broccoli and other members of the cabbage family. They are easy to control with insecticides such as malathion or diazinon. Early control is necessary because aphids reproduce rapidly.



10. Q. How can I control worms that get in my broccoli heads?


A. These are probably loopers, imported cabbage worms, or perhaps broccoli head worms. Regardless of the type worm, they can be controlled with a product containing Bacillus thuringiensis. This is a biological-type insecticide which controls most types of worms. This material must be eaten by the worm and activated by the gut of the worm which is alkaline. The worm then dies a slow and painful death from terminal constipation! This takes 2 to 3 days which means worms are not killed immediately. This is a completely safe chemical and can be used for control of most types of worms on most garden vegetables. Use 1 to 2 teaspoons of a liquid detergent per gallon of spray mixed to insure adequate wetting of the waxy leaf surface.

11. Q. What is broccoflower? Did someone misspell broccoli?

A. A strange new vegetable is invading produce departments throughout the United States. This produce stranger, broccoflower, is the result of a genetic cross between broccoli and cauliflower. Although its physical attributes resemble cauliflower, it has the color and flavor of broccoli.

Initial indications from producers of this new crop suggest that demand for broccoflower is exceeding supply. Whether or not broccoflower's rapid rise in popularity is due to its novelty or to its taste, it is the hottest produce item to hit the market in recent years.

Cultural practices and growing seasons are similar for both cauliflower and broccoflower. The major difference in production is that there is no need to tie wrapper leaves over broccoflower to maintain its color and quality as is required for cauliflower cultivation.

http://aggie-horticulture.tamu.edu/plantanswers/vegetables/broccoli.html
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miami78
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 5:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Doc- we love you and you are a great doc- but you know NOTHING about Broccoli. Wink Very Happy
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 8:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

well, I do hate real broccoli (the veggie)

but who could hate this:



Wink
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 8:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, updated even..

The Bortzan Army is featured.
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 8:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Did someone call for a Bortzan Army?

etc...
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2005 2:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

=>I just realized that we do not have a FAQ for Seals mother, goat porn, and Eddie liver.
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2005 8:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Or FAQ for my posting styles- how to tell if MrG is posting under the influence of Migraine pain meds or the influence of his Home brews...or what his verbose writing styles remind you of...
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 9:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

=>"ROTFLMAO Lethunya" probably needs a FAQ as well.
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 9:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

updated.
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 1:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
As per tradition, a thread is started three days before a football game for predictions on the upcoming gridiron contest. Usually called 'Prediction Thursday' (since the games are on Saturday),


Thursday to Saturday = three days????
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 1:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

GT wrote:
Quote:
As per tradition, a thread is started three days before a football game for predictions on the upcoming gridiron contest. Usually called 'Prediction Thursday' (since the games are on Saturday),


Thursday to Saturday = three days????

Since it's started at 12:01 am on Thursdays, I said three days.
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 08, 2005 10:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

=>Given it is football season, I expect more Hannon Oak references in regards to myself. I guess that deserves a FAQ for folks like Pinky.
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 1:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Updated...
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 10:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

mattsledge wrote:
Updated...

What he said. Man, that guy is a JERK!
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 11:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Archaic potations. Nice.
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 11:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And several butcher's aprons
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 11:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thechuck_2112 wrote:
Archaic potations. Nice.

Thank the thesaurus for that gem.
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